I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with,
'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear
to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you
to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then
slip on this gown. Everything clear? '
I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.'
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With
the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and
said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a
tad so we can get everything?'
Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why
not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish
me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with
my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square
glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the
power went off!
'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda headed
for the door.
'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy... the door's wide
open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'
Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's exactly
how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me,
half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other
part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greetings, Bubba
(or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calm as possible
'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'!
'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd
been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making
no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!'
The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me,
I went to lunch. Are we upset?'
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps........
14 comments:
Oh that's too funny! I hope that's a story just for our amusement and not what really happened! Yikes!
oh how funny. I mean....I hope that never happens!!! lol
OMG! that's a chapter for Murder She Wrote if you get my meaning...lol maybe i won't do another mammogram-yikes!~kbear
Did that really happen? OMG! How horrible yet funny!
Glad that didn't happen to you, Glad also that you feel some better. Get some sleep today. Helen
LOL ... now I am hoping that isn't what really happened... no it couldn't be...
hugs
ROFL...I was almost believing it for a minute. Sounds like a good law suit to me. Have a good one.
This had me laughing out loud, thank you. Hope it is not true.
I read this out to Bryan and I could hardly recite it for laughing. I have had to calm down a bit before I could write a comment. My jaws are sore laughing! What a brilliant hoot!
Oh dear! Now my tummy muscles feel as though they are cramping...wooohoo! Brilliant Julie! Just brilliant!
I really enjoyed this joke.
More like that please....!
Hugs
Jeanie xxx
Now is this a true story? LOL Hope not...hope you have a good week...hugs and love,
Joyce
Too funny..after the fact, Im sure. The cartoon says it all. Say hello to Bubba and Earl, I'm sure you made their day.
Jimmy
I can't stand perky people like that! I know they exist--I've met a few--they must take something..are people really born that perky? Julie :)
lol sorry...couldn't help it...surely, surely this isn't a true story!!
Lol, that's funny Julie! I go for my mammogram this Friday, pray I don't have a power outage! I'm just about caught up now and I subscribed to your Feedblitz so I don't get so behind again! Jeannette xx
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