Happy Birthday to Me

OK, you all know my birthday is on Monday. And I have to have surgery on Monday.. And that I am slightly, ( understated), nervous about that. So...... Could you all do me a favor. Pass it around I want birthday wishes this year. And good wishes about my surgery. Lots. Please. Pass it on.... to all you know.. Wish me happy birthday and good luck. Because I think I need it this year. 55 years and holding.

For The Record

Saturday

Last night was my last night for awhile. I will be off until after my surgery now. It is getting so close and I have the butterflies in my stomach big time. And last night I met the nurse who will be stepping into my schedule while I am gone.

Don't know why but that makes me nervous. It feels like I have already been replaced. I know that it is a great solution, have a float team that can cover for the nurse while she takes vacations, or has surgery but it is still weird. She won't be able to do charge and she is a new grad so she ain't me as I reminded my co-workers. Don't get to fond of her because like the say in the movies...... "I'll be back".

They had a birthday cookie for me last night. My co-workers didn't realize I was off tonight so they are having a big pot luck for me, sans me. Yum.. May have to pop in and say hi. I mean, since they went to all the trouble and all.

The weather has cooled down and with it my arthritis is kicking in big time. Gone the great days of summer where I felt pretty good and didn't hurt all over. Hello fall. And the leaves are really changing, the nights are cool and the air hazy with moisture in the air.


I am nervous about my surgery and trying to keep busy to keep my mind off it. Stupid little things are driving me crazy. What to wear home from the hospital with that big old sling on? Will they let me wear underwear during surgery? Will I be able to lay down? Will I live? Is it going to be really painful? Is it the right thing to do? Will I lose my job? And on and on.

I am going to have to keep busy so it passes and just get it over with. And pray nothing else goes wrong, I am tired of this. Plus Monday is my birthday. I keep forgetting that part for awhile. Monday I will be 55 years old. How the heck did that happen. Why I am just a young babe. I will be sitting there appreciatively checking out the new cute guy and get jolted back into reality. what the heck am I doing? I am old enough to be his mother....won't be long and I will be old enough to be his grandmother. sigh. but I am not back for 55 besides some bumps and bruises on the ride.

So anyway. Thats about it. By this time Monday I will be in surgery. I will be meditating and getting myself centered by then I hope.

Never Forget

Neat video

Cool van

We saw this cool van in Omaha. It is completely covered in these brass things. My pictures are bad but if you click on them to see them larger you can get an idea. Pretty odd isn't it. It is called the California Fantasy Van and will be in a movie they made about art cars. Just a wonderful piece of imagination at work.

I went to the eye doctor today and he is giving me something for dry eye. Its just my right eye and it was some bumps on the inside that are causing the scratching gritty feeling. Otherwise my cataract in no worse and I am getting some pretty cool new glasses.

Work today. What fun.. I slept well and am actually looking forward to it.

Wednesday

It is my last day off, my vacation has come to an end. And it was a good time, relaxing, not very productive, but relaxing. And I only have to work 2 days and then am off again until I get released back to work.

Yesterday we went to Omaha for the day. I wanted to get some shots of some bronze statues they have up there and Rick and a friend of ours wanted to make a beer run. Long way for beer but these guys both are beer snobs and they have a couple of great places up there to get beer we can't get around here.

I picked myself up some IPA's that I like and some Young's Double Chocolate Stout, yummy. Rick got some bitters which I don't care for and a couple of porters that sound good. Then we hit a couple of places there to eat and later for a cheese and meat plate and I had a raspberry Lambic. Yummy. We got home late, but we had a great time. Below are a couple of the statues I took shots of.


Pioneer's. These statues are bigger then life and so impressive. Try to visit if you ever get to Omaha.


And then I made a new header for my Photo journal. Connie from Windswept Whispers made me the one above, isn't it cute, and told me how to insert one. I never knew how before. Thanks Connie. So this blue porch I saw in Omaha I thought was wonderful and I made Rick stop so I could get a shot. What do you think?



Then I wanted a black and white but didn't want to lose this wonderful blue door and porch so I keep the color in the porch and got rid of the rest. I think it really draw attention to the door and railing.


And I liked the angles on the bench below so got a shot of that. I have my book out and am working on my exposures which is such a problem for me.


This morning, bright and early I had an appointment for my pre-op. My lab is all good except my cholesterol is still high. That wasn't part of the pre-op but since I hadn't eaten he wanted to run one. So I have to work on that better. Otherwise I am good to go on Monday. 5 days away.

Friday I am getting my hair trimmed. Sat and Sun last minute cleaning and dusting. Monday skin doc at 9:30, be at the hospital at 12 and surgery at 2. I think he said it would take 3 hours. Then try and wake up as quick as possible so I can get home and get comfy. If I can get comfy.

It will be hard staying awake all night again. Oh well, only 2 nights. I can do it.

Now I have been nice and quiet about the politics lately. Obama's talk to the schools, a slippery slope there. This one he tamed down, I would watch the ones in the future and there will be more. This man is on TV more then my weatherman. When people get used to him talking to the students and stop objecting, then the talk we originally was going to give will be given I bet.

And I heard today some postal workers got money orders instead of checks. Government workers. What no money to pay them? Also heard they want to give us bonds instead of income tax returns. Could that be so they can just keep our money for a few more decades? Time to make double sure I am withholding maximum amounts so I don't have to worry about a return next year. I want to keep my own money.

I have been keeping quiet and just reading articles and listening to the comments of people. There are more people coming out of the closet about being socialist now that it is safe to admit it. I am surprised about how many there are actually. And some people are realizing they are socialists that didn't have a name to put how they viewed things. And a lot of us who realized, not for the first time that neither party has been doing good for us for a long time. It should be interesting if not depressing to see where our future lies. Unfortunately I am not optimistic. But I do see by the polls and Obama's falling approval rating that maybe people are starting to see he means us no good. And not just him, but all his czar's. Oh wait, he renamed them didn't he. Excuse me.... Advisers.

Anyway, like I said before there are more people who are saying what I feel in a lot better fashion so I won't go on. But I am watching. And listening. Words...... Just Words? Oh brother........

Last week

Next week on this day I will be at the skin doctors right now. How very exciting. Find out the status of the skin cancers on my face. Remove or watch. Then at noon, to the hospital for my surgery. Another really exciting thing......NOT. And it seems to be coming fast. The days are just flying by.

I am still off work until Thursday. And then I only work Thursday and Friday and am off until who knows when. Wednesday I get my pre-op work done and I hope to get my hair trimmed sometime this week.

Sylvan Lake


My sinus infection is gone but I am having an unpleasant side effect to the medication. I still have 5 days to go on it. I think the side effect will only get worse and worse. And of course my doctors office is closed today. Now usually they won't have you stop a med just because of a side effect, but sometimes the side effect is really nasty and they will let you stop. I am hoping he will let me stop.

I had planned on going on a photo shoot yesterday and getting some shots for a sept photo hunt I joined but we ended up spending most of the day getting the pool down. What a mess that was. The inside was slimy because we hadn't used it for 2 weeks and I wasn't scrubbing it down and the pump was off. The outside was dirty. It took hours to drain the water and getting all the air out of it. Then the tarp over the grass, or I should say dead grass had to be unstaked and rinsed down. I am going to get seed and replant grass this week. It was worth it for all the use we got out of the pool and fortunately I am not obsessive about my lawn. Then I cleaned out Chesters cage. I let him outside to eat some grass.

He was so cute. Usually he is already starting to chew before you even set him down and then he just sits there eating the entire time hes out. I decided to take him to the side yard where some tender new grass was growing. Since he never moves I decided to do it without the cage. So he's eating away and all of a sudden, fat little piggy legs pumping away he scurried across the lawn to the woods. Sheesh. I have never seen him run. He's pretty fast. Hey little pig I said as I scooped him up, you would be a very tasty treat for the barn owl in the woods or the hawks. Since I assume he as always lived in a cage I am pretty sure he wouldn't last long. But he did seem to enjoy his little burst of freedom and was purring when I carried him back to his cage. Chester's big adventure. After that excitement he took a long nap. Happy little piggy.

Today my son is having us all over for a cook out. Lovely. I don't have to cook. After the fantastic meal we had last night, grilled shrimp with garlic cloves, steak, potato skins, and corn on the cob with a nice bottle of Zin I don't think I can eat for a week. Plus my little side effect from the med has taken away my appetite. But it will be nice to just visit and relax. Hard to believe it has been a week since we were at the cabin. Just went by too soon and wasn't long enough.

The cabin



Oh and one other thing. I went to the art splash. There was some great photography. I was not happy with my shots this vacation. Lots of over exposure. So I decided I need to learn how to really use my camera. After a year....procrastination. I bought some tapes from a company that are specific for my camera. It is like taking a class but on DVD's. They go over all the features and teach you how to use your camera for every type of shot. So I can watch that and have my camera right there to learn as I watch and rewatch and practice. They have these tapes for every camera practically they make and since I hate reading manuals this might work better for me and is cheaper then a class. That one class I took was a dud anyway. So hopefully my photo's will be getting better soon. It will give me something to do while I recover from surgery. Time to stop being a point and shoot photographer. I have been using more of my creative settings but not to their full scope.


Well, enough of all this. The photo below was from on top of the mountain looking down. I hate heights but love the views.

Reflections.

My Mom used to say she didn't want to raise any stupid children. Or children with bad manners or that were rude or self centered. She wanted us to be bright, love to read and kind to others. Because we were poor was not a reason not to be rich in language and skills we could learn if we applied ourselves. As a child I struggled.

My youngest sister was reading the newspaper by the time she was 3. My brother was a micro electronics expert. My middle sister could make anyone her friend. And my brother had the skill I really wanted. He could draw.....well.

I always loved drawing. Pastel chalks, paint. My passion was pottery. Although I was good my brother was special. I got A's, but he got praise.

And as a teenager I went totally wild. I could not live up to what my mother wanted me to be. I had failed her. I couldn't do anything right. So I partied my way through school, bored out of mind because no one read the kind of things I read. No one wanted to be challenged. They all were making their mothers proud.

I married at 19 and had children at 22. And stopped being mad at my mother and started to listen to her again. And she told me by stupid children she didn't mean children who got the best grades, did all the right things, said all the right things. She wanted children who questioned everything. Looked at all the angles. Made up their own minds. And she was proud of me because although I didn't always make all the right choices she noticed I never repeated my mistakes. My mother was more then I could ever hope to be. She was such a incrediblely smart insightful woman.

So hummmm. What is making me so reflective today. I have surgery number....... god I have lost count coming up. I am sitting here drinking a great pale ale and watching the mother deer and her babies out the window. Zoey is bugging me for a treat and Chester is chewing on his new toy. Rick is going to the store to get some jumbo shrimp to grill, I have a nice bottle of Zin chilling. And I am feeling content.

I am not the person I thought I would be when I grew up. Not the famous artist, the the writer. Not the smartest bulb in the carton. But I am happy. And not all people can say that. And I know my mother would be...... was, proud of me.