Julia's New journal

                                  Dear God: Here is a list of
                        just some of the things I must remember
                                        to be a good Dog:

 

1. I will not eat the cat's food before she eats it or after she throws it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

 

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's
crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand
straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside,
and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living
room, and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God:

When I get to Heaven,
May I have my testicles back?