Saturday Morning Post

Click on photo to see larger.

Not to brag but I really like the way this photo turned out. I obviously have done some photo editing on it but it seems to go well with the old building, don't ya think.

It is another cold and windy day. Rick fell yesterday thanks to Zoey and messed his knee up pretty bad. He won't go to the doc of course but I put ice on, then biofreeze and he is wearing my old brace. I knew there was a reason I hang onto those things, LOL. Today its better. I told him heat today so he is soaking in the tub.

Last night Dan came for supper and we had tacos. I haven't had any of those for a long time. It was pretty good. I have cooked 3 times this week, may be a record. I made a 15 bean cajun soup which was to die for and low fat and calories plus really yummy. Just add chicken instead of the sausage. Its not a quick fix recipe but its easy enough to get it thrown together and then just let it cook slowly on the back burner.

I just found out our old babysitter, who is younger then me has skin cancer, melanoma which is more serious then what I have. Anyway it has come back and is all over her body and behind her eye, she is losing her vision. She is going on hospice as there isn't anything they can do since it has spread so much. It started out as a mole she had removed about 2 years ago. So very scary and sad.

I worked oncology for 10 years. I loved it but after awhile I did get burned out. The ones that come to the hospital are sicker then if they could get treatment on an outpatient basis usually. I remember the 3 patients that broke my heart right before I left and which made me want to take a break. One was a young girl with hip pain. She keep going to the doc and he kept telling her she was too fat which was why her hip hurt, lose weight and exercise. And she tried and tried until she couldn't stand. The cancer had eaten through her hip by then and was incurable. She was so sweet and I just felt so sad for her. Stand up for yourself. If your body tells you something is wrong keep going to somebody until they listen to you. Its your right, and your life.

Then I had a 19 year old patient who's mother was a friend and co-worker. Beautiful, smart young lady. We all loved her. I remember once she wanted to go out of pass. She made a huge billboard with 100 reasons why she be allowed to go and when her doctor came she pointed out each reason to him. She got her pass. She went through hell with her chemo and we all thought it was working. They couldn't find anymore cancer. They did one more round to be on the safe side and she died from complications of no counts. I couldn't stand it and bawled my eyes out.

Last I remember the postman. Always joking and teasing me. He had melanoma. His barber had found it. He used to tell me to rub his fuzzy head for luck when it started growing back after the chemo. He was such a hoot and kept us all in stitches. Then the cancer went to his brain, I could hear him screaming in pain no matter where I went. We could never quite get it under controll. These 3 all happend within a 3 month period. After 10 years I just couldn't do it one more minute. I never wanted to get close to my patients ever again. I went to the float pool, different floor, different patients every night. No chance of getting too involved. And then I was the house manager for years so distance myself even more.

But I missed patient care. I had always loved it. Loved talking to the patients and joking with them, loved making them feel better. So here I am, back on the floors again. We still get chronic patients I get close to. Their hearts are bad, so they come in often. And I still cry and mourn my patients who die. And I don't know a single nurse, no matter how hard core she seems who has not gone into the linen closet to cry.

So man, this has gone off in weird directions, but let it be a lesson. check your skin and remember the ABCD's of melanoma.

3 days to go. Now I am back to being nervous that the nerve pain may come back after this latest surgery. But if it does, I can handle it.

Fight the Fairness Doctrine, or censorship law.

1st Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

They have figured American's have pretty much given up all of their constitutional rights except the 1st Amendment and the Right to bear arms. Some in the government are working hard to take these last 2 amendments away.

Now your saying, so what. Rush Limbaugh will be off the air, I can't buy a gun, it doesn't affect me. But it does. It Does. Freedom of speech. Freedom to talk about whatever we want to without censorship. Not to not listen, freedom to listen. The government is NOT suppose to interfere. They already won't let you say prayer in school. People have got to wake up and see what's happening.

Complain. Peaceful demonstrations are still allowed. We still have the 1st amendment. Use it. Read the constitution again. Start fighting again for our rights. Or they will be gone. Write your congressmen, you senators, your city halls. Don't let it happen. They will try to slip it though like they have slipped through the health reform bills, the acorn payment. The right to vote anonymously if you want a union, the right to pray where you want to pray. Fight it. Or lose what our forefathers gave up at a dear price.

So...that is my rant today. Otherwise I am doing fine. They are going to do a MRI on my shoulder to see why it is still hurting, my wrist is doing better and now my surgery is 4 days away. I am nervous. And I found out. 2 Martini's are 2 to many for me. Oh, and the eagle has 3 eggs now in the nest.

I have a free day, no PT except the exercises I do 4 times a day. No doctor visits, I am free. It is cold out so a nice long walk is out of question but some shopping is something I plan.

I hate shopping. I usually will go to the uniform shop and buy 6 sets of scrubs at once. If I find a blouse I like I buy 3 in different colors. I try to only shop a couple of times of year. Just hate it. But..... my winter coat bit the dust and there should be some great sales out there plus I need some new underclothes. Then I am going to the hospital to see if my insurance needs to be paid. It doesn't come out of my tiny little disability check. You can just make it up but since I knew I was having this surgery I had some money saved up for a rainy day.

Another thing I want to do. I want my son to take a good picture of my face. Just in case I end up with a really big scar I would like a new picture. The one on my side is around a year old. I pretty much look the same only fatter cheeks since I have gained weight.

Speaking of gaining weight. I am going back to the gym after this is all over. I have gained weight and feel really out of shape these day. I was in such great shape when I was working out and riding my bike all the time. I want to do that again. With sunscreen and a hat. A nice long bike ride sounds wonderful.

I also bought a large bag of spinach. Cancer food you know. Broccoli, Brussels spouts, dark green veggies. Good for you. Vit D. Taste great also.

Tonight we are eating out. LOL. Didn't I just say lose weight! But I can get a small steak and a side of broccoli at our favorite restaurant. I cooked at home 3 days. I deserve a night out.

So time to get busy. Have a great day. Stop by Eaglesbrother and wish him well after his recent heart attack. He is such a talented artist and photographer. Get well soon. I can't wait to see the turtle shell rattle.

Whining helps, my surgery date is moved up

Doing the happy dance.

I got a call that the person scheduled for the 24th canceled so they put me in that slot. Gee, and after all that whining I did earlier, I almost feel bad. So then I was so excited I called my son to tell him the good news. Then I laughed and said, I can't believe I am excited they are going to carve my face up, now why is that good news? LOL. He laughed also but it will just be so good to move on. So surgery next week, then I can concentrate on getting my wrist stronger to go back to work.

Physical therapy went well today. My wrist is so wimpy. I do these exercises with a 2 pound weight and my hand actually starts to shake. After not being able to use it for so long the muscles are just almost nonexistent but it is getting better. I was using a 1 pound weight. Before you know it I will be back to full strength.

Oregon Brewer's, Come to Iowa

We are not all corn fields and we won't tax you as much to do what you do best. Make beer. We in Iowa were sad to hear they are thinking of raising you taxes so much on beer, something like 116% increase or some other outrageous amount. Even if it is only half that its too much. We would be kind to you in Iowa. I love your beers, Widmer's wheat is my all time favorite and who doesn't love Rogue All American Ale And you have so many more I haven't even been able to try yet. We would treasure your industry, your cost of living would be much lower here, we would love your beers and we are very friendly. We don't want you taxed out of brewing. So give it some thought. You can still make a profit in Iowa. Cheers. Oh, and our houses are less expensive. So far. Did I mention that we are friendly. And like your beer.

So tired of being laid up and wrist picture

I couldn't sleep last night so called work. They are short handed and running their butts off. Admits right and left, one emergency after another and I missed being there, seriously, LOL. I must be getting better.

I am tired of being laid up. Today I have PT, and friday I have PT and see the doc about my injured shoulder. And that ticks me off. It makes me mad that I get that gee it should be better by now attitude. I am sorry. Something I did at work injured my shoulder. I didn't ask for it to happen, I reported it like I was suppose to. I do the exercises they tell me to do and it isn't better. It got better briefly after my wrist surgery because I wasn't doing anything. Now my wrist is better and I am using my arm more and the shoulder is hurting more. Makes sense to me. I am not trying to pull anything over the doc, I am not getting any drugs, I am not asking to be taken off work. I am just asking him to believe me. Because I am having exactly what I say I am having. Living with it everyday, not 5 minutes a week during my appointment. Sorry I am not improving fast enough for you. So anyway. That is ticking me off. I am not going to lie and say it is better when its not. Heck, knowing my luck, it will just be another aches and pain I will have to live with.

Next. The doctors nurse for my cancer surgery called. I can have surgery on the 5th. What, that is even later then before. Please. Can't they switch someones nose job or boob job for my Cancer job. Don't they triage? I mean if a doc had called me and said, would you mind delaying you non life threatening surgery so we can do surgery on someone that has a fast growing cancer in her face I would have said of course, no problem, Its a no brainer.

Now, chances are I only have 2 maybe 3 cancer cells left and with a little snip it will all be gone and all this worry and anger will be for naught. After all squamous cell cancer grows slow and has a 95% cure rate. But occasionally, when it is in a bad spot, or sometimes it grows faster then norm, it can spread and it can kill you. Where as your crooked nose will not. So I have 15 more days to wait. At this point going to Omaha would probably take as long. If I had gone there in the first place this would all be over and I would be merrily enjoying my life.

And lastly. My wrist. I finished my antibiotics. The PA thinks it still looks infected. They have the world brightest florescent lights at their office. Under those lights my incisions do look terrible. Bright red and ugly. At home under my, soft cover your blemishes lighting I think they look better. So now they have me taking benedryl. What a way to spend your day, tired and grumpy. And it is snowing. Snowing!

Terrible shot of my wrist but you can see both incisions, you can see which on was infected but it looking better to me.





OK, skin cancer prevention tips of the day. Wear a hat. It should have a brim and cover your neck. Did you know skin cancer is the most common cancer there is? And you are seeing it more and more. It is showing up in younger people. So check your skin and follow the ABCDs of Melanoma, the most serious of them all.

A asymmetry
B border irregularity
C color
D diameter

Denvers Anti Stimulus Rally and Pig fest

I am proud of the folks in Denver. They all physically went down and protested this spending spree of Obama's. They had a huge rally and a huge turnout. The stimulus plan still got signed because President Obama doesn't care who doesn't agree with him. He doesn't care how much it will hurt our country. His corrupt cabinet doesn't care but we do. And it does my heart good to see people gathering to protest. Because we need to do that. And will need to keep being heard. So cudo's to Denver. I am proud of you all.

Obama's new stimulus plan, bribes states to keep you on welfare,

By going to this old welfare plan it actually forced more people onto welfare. The states had no incentive to put in to place job training to raise the poor out of welfare. They get paid to keep you on welfare. By keeping you dependent on the government for your next meal this puts government in control of your lifes, not you. This was Obama's plan all along. Back in 98 he was talking about doing away with it. Watch the video and see how this hurts the very people he talked into voting for him.

Winter poem

WINTER Poem

It's winter in Iowa
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At thirty-five below.

Oh, how I love Iowa
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Iowa
'Cuz I'm frozen to the ground!

author unknown.

My Valentine day

Yesterday my valentine took me for a ride..I didn't know where we were going but he said to bring my camera.



We live in a tri-state area. Iowa, Nebraska, and South Dakota are a bridge away. We drove over to the Nebraska side and on the old highway. The rolling hills are so pretty, even this time of year.



Cedar trees are scattered on the sandy hills and even though it was cold and overcast it was nice, my heated seats always make me happy.


We drove over the new bridge into South Dakota, the ice is starting to break up but still it looks cold.


Some sort of falcon or hawk was flying right outside Ricks window so I snapped a shot. I will have to see if I can ID it.


We we got to Gavin's Point Dam area I realized where we going. 35 and a half years ago we honeymooned here. We were married Nov. 3rd so it was cool then. In the picture below in that grove of trees we parked our camper.


Being it was Nov. we had the entire campground to ourselves like we did yesterday. It looks almost exactly the same only the trees are larger. We camped here 3 days until we ran out of propane and the water froze. It was the first time I had been camping and it was so much fun. Very romatic. We would stand out and watch the sun go down over the water.



And when the sun hits the hills across the lake just right they look like they are made of gold.


There are unfortunately houses built all over but you can still see how pretty it is in alot of the area yet.






We stopped at a outhouse that was still open, thank goodness. In the winter they don't smell quite as bad and when there isn't a bathroom around for miles and miles you make do.

Anyway, I go in and sit and hear this pathetic noise. Like a animal in distress. What is that I yelled to Rick jumping up. Some type of bird he thought. To me it sounded right below me and I had visions of some angry animal that had been hibernating and was angry I had just piddled on it. I looked in the hole and there was someone's cell phone bleating away. It sounded soooo distressed. Help me help me it seemed to be crying. I suppose the owner was calling the number and walking around somewhere in the park trying to locate it. I bet she won't want it back where it ending up laying.



We drove to the dam and I was surprised to see people fishing even this time of year. It was in the 20's. Burrrr. They have great paddlefish and huge catfish here.



Some of the fishermen didn't pay enough attention to the weather though as we saw 3 ice houses sunk from the warm weather last weekend. Sitting by the lake we could here the groans and moans of the ice either melting and breaking or freezing, not sure if it sounds different or not.



We sat by the lake and watched the geese get ready to take off. The are hundreds of them.



The sky is full of them and you can hear them calling for miles.



And them we went back to the top of the dam to watch the sunset, just like we did on our honeymoon. It was as romantic now as it was then.



When we got home my son's were here and my oldest gave me a dozen roses. Rick gave me candy and we ate dinner. This was the best Valentine's day for us both. It was just a lovely day and spending it together is what makes it special

Just can't not think about it

I have gotten to the point where this skin cancer isn't all I think about, thank goodness. I can go hours without it even entering my mind. And then the little demons of worry pop in.

I had a lovely day yesterday. I will post on that later when I get all the photo's entered. Didn't even think about this stupid thing growing in my face. Then this morning I wake up and have those electrical type pains on the right side of my head. They feel like someone is toughing you with a taser, brief and very painful but gone when its over. I had these right after they cut the growth out for around 3 days. If it were a constant pain I really would not be able to handle it. And the creepy crawling feeling in my cheek is worse plus my right eye feels weird. Blurry and twitchy.

I took some tylenol and it is no better. Now before this stupid thing in my face I would have just chalked it up to a sinus thing. Which it probably is. But the paranoid little demons in my heard are whispering. "This is what it feels like when the cancer is spreading". "This cancer is crawling all over your face and there isn't a thing you can do about it".

And that drives me nuts. Seriously I am not the type that usually worries about all the little aches and pains I have. I have long ago learned to live with my bodies little betrayals. I hate this little nagging monster. I can't wait until its gone. I can't wait until I can do the happy dance. Cancer free....that's me, yippy yippy, happy happy joy joy.