It has almost been 2 weeks since Zoey passed. Slowly I am getting used to not having her furry self to greet us at the door and beg at our table. It has been difficult.
The day after Zoey went to the Rainbow bridge I was eating my breakfast and just automatically saved her a bite and looked to where she would lie waiting. No Zoey. I could almost see her. If you caught her begging she would hurry up and look away, "I'm not begging", and then as soon as you looked away her face would turn to you again and her soft brown eyes would burn into you, mentally reminding you that she was there and waiting.
Xena spent the first 3 days going from room to room and meowing at the top of her voice. Day and night. She has started sitting on our laps and sleeping in our bed. Something she never did before. She has started to settled down but I found her sleeping with one of Zoey's toys. Weird. She always liked Zoey much more then Zoey liked her.
Yesterday I finally put Zoey's leash and treat jar away. That was ridiculously difficult. I know in my mind what is final but my heart still wants her to come in and nudge the jar with her nose.
On the back door are some dirty smudges from years of Zoey using her nose to push the door open. I know I will tackle cleaning them off some day. But not yet.
I bury my nose in Xena's fur and can remember how nice Zoey smelled. But Xena is not the same. Xena has also taken to following me from room to room like Zoey did, weird.
I miss the way Zoey would greet you by shoving her face between you legs, forcing you to stop and reach down and pet her and scratch her under her arms. She loved that and so did I.
We had steak last night. It seemed wrong to just toss the scraps. What a waste.
Tuesday we are expecting the urn we ordered. Zoey's face will be laser cut on it. Rick wants to save the ashed in the urn, someday she will be put to rest with us. If you have never had a beloved pet this will seem weird, we are careful who we tell that to. But for those that know what it is like you will understand. It just seems right.
So slowly we are adjusting. It has the same feeling when Betty and Merle passed.
