Scandinavians, Ole and Clarence

         Ole lived across the Minnesota River from Clarence Bunson, whom he didn't like at all. They were yelling across the river at each other all the time.

         Ole would yell to Clarence, "If I had a vay to cross dis river, I'd come ofver dere an beat you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by golly!"

         This went on for years. Finally, the state built a bridge across the river right there by their houses.

         Ole's wife, Lena , says, "Now iss yer chance, Ole. Vhy doncha go over dere and beat up dat Clarence like you said you vud?"

         Ole replied, "OK, by yimminy, I tink I vill do yust dat!"

         Ole started for the bridge, but he saw a sign on the bridge and stopped to read it, then turned around and came back home.

         Lena asked, "Vhy did you come back?"

         Ole said, " Lena , I tink I changed my mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence. You know, vhen I yell at him from across da river he don't look so big. But dey put a sign on da bridge dat says "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 In."

PREGNANT AT 71

PREGNANT AT 71

A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors.

After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.

After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.

"What the heck is the matter with you?!" the older doctor demanded.”

Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,

 

"Does she still have the hiccups?"

Grandma

 

 

Spring is coming

           We have been having great weather this week.   Temps in the 50's.   What a lovely nice change.   I made sure to get out in it and may actually go for the first bike ride of the year later today.    Of course it is suppose to snow later tonight,  maybe tomorrow but it has been a nice change and most of the snow has melted away.   Come on Spring, I am waiting.


           My son is getting married so I have been dress hunting.   It is still 4 months away so I don't want to get it too soon as I am still losing weight.  Hopefully I will be at least 1 size smaller by then if not 2.     I hate shopping for dresses though.   What ever happened to casual weddings.   Sigh.  But I really like his girlfriend and it will be nice to have her in the family.   


            Work has been busy.   At least it makes the nights go fast.   This weeks theme seemed to be pulmonary embolism's.    Weird the way these things come in streaks.   Not seeing much of the flu this year.   Our job made us get the flu shot this year.   I am feeling so healthy I wasn't really happy about it but what can you do.   I wonder what getting this shot every year does to you.   They think getting shots for your pets every year may be linked to the increase in cancer in dogs.   Now a lot of vets are recommending getting a titer to see if your pet has developed an immunity and doesn't need the shot repeated.  Maybe the same is true with yearly flu shots.  Just a thought.


       Things are scary in the world,  Communist and radial Muslims joining ranks to what end?   I think we all know.   People in our government better be watching carefully what happens.   Hopefully the next election we will get some people elected who truly love our country and believe freedom is where we want to stay.  Can you believe what Oprah said.   The Obama is our ruler and we should obey him?   Sheesh.  He is our elected official and he should do what the people who pay his salary want.  Sorry Oprah,  don't agree.


         Rick found out his cholesterol is high,  not terribly high but he doesn't want to go on medication so is going to watch what he eats.    Mine is 26 points higher then him but he wasn't concerned.   Now that his is elevated its a medical emergency, LOL.    What's weird though is the doctor has never said anything to me about my cholesterol being high but they called Rick to discuss his test results.  Double standards don't you think?   I already had put myself on a low cholesterol diet so now Rick will just have to follow suit.   Dang,  all this healthy eating and exercise.....  we may live 29 minutes longer!   They said that is the average time you will add to your life by eating healthy.   Of course that isn't the same as it you were morbidly obese.


      We  heard sirens last night getting closer and closer and closer.   I was afraid we had forgot to turn off the alarm again.   They went to the top of our hill and just sat there for awhile and turned around.   The road was pretty muddy.   I hope someone behind us didn't need help they couldn't get to.   Since we graveled our road we no longer have to worry about that.   I remember the days we used to have to park a block away and wade in with our mud boots.   Sure don't miss that.


    Well,  I guess we are going to the gym and will forget the bike ride since it is really windy.   Hope everyone has a great weekend.  I am going to an auction on Sunday to look at some costume jewelry.   Hope they have some treasures I can add to my collection.

The Sign

Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.

One day they are seen pounding a sign into the ground, which said:

DA END ISS NEAR!

TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW

BAFOR IT ISS TOO LATE!

As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, "Leave

people alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"

 From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

Shakin' his head, Rev. Ole says "Dat's da terd one dis mornin'."

"Yaa," Pastor Sven agrees, then asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust

say, 'Bridge Out?'"

The weight loss Challenge

     We are nearing the end of week 3 of our Live Healthy Challenge.    I am feeling pretty great.    Both Rick and I are working out pretty regularly and the feeling of being fit and healthy is a good thing.   Rick,  who used to walk as slow as a turtle is hard to keep up with again.    I have muscles.    And I have dropped another 3 pounds.    I haven't measured lately, but I can tell by the way my clothes fit that I have lost inches all over.  I am so happy  to be healthy again.


    I am still just eating healthy foods in proper portions.   I stay away from almost all prepared foods and never eat fast foods,  but I never really did anyway.   Lots of veggies and lots of fruits.   I limit my carbs and the rest is history.   I am happy with this eating plan because I can basically eat anything occasionally,  even my pizza I can't live without.   And I have another reason to kick it up and lose weight.   My son is getting married in June.   I have lost 53 pounds total and if I really concentrate I should be able to lose at least 15 more by then.   Feeling so proud of myself I bought myself the little trinket above.   I love old vintage jewelry and this Weiss brooch was on sale and cheap.   It sparkles like mad.  I am always on the lookout for another for my collection.  Anyone have any they want to part with, LOL.


     So other then working out and taking care of myself not much more is going on.   Trying to survive the winter and dreaming of bike rides.  One thing I plan on tackling this year is riding the dreaded hills.   I hate riding hills on my bike but it would be so much easier to take off from here and go for a ride and then back.  It just is the pits though that going up so many hills at the end of your ride is the only way to do it.   If I could do it at the beginning it would be nicer.   Oh well,  such is life.


     The only health issue that is maybe a problem is I am having some trouble with irregular heart beats and chest pain at times.    Since my asthma has been under control I may have to get checked out once again on that.   I have always had trouble with chest pain off and on so it probably isn't anything to be concerned about but it a little different then it was in the past so can't be too careful.


     Zoey survived another birthday and is due to see her vet soon.   I have counted like 16 fatty tumors on her now.    Except for those she seems in pretty good health.  And Chester recovered from a 3 day illness that had me worried.   So things are going well.   Spring is right around the corner.  I am counting off the days.

Senior Scam, fraud

   I am at the age where the senior scams are starting to show up pretty regularly.   Beings I am a cynical if it sounds to good to be true it probably is type of person and beings I was in business for years and have almost every type of fraud attempted on my shop I haven't fallen for them.   And I know anyone who visits my site are way to smart to fall for them either.   But I thought it would be great to start posting these when they come.   It just makes me angry when trusting seniors,  or anyone for the matter, gets robbed by these bottom feeders.   So anyway this is the latest we got today.   Have any of you received this?   If you get any scam things post them.  Lets shut these creeps down.