Grandma's Birth Control Pills.....


The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.

At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills.

"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?"

"Yes, they help me to sleep at night."

"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!"

She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee. "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks.......And believe me, it helps me sleep at night."

You gotta love Grandma's!

I had this very pleasantly confused patient last night. He was a fiddler. Fiddled with this line, fiddled with that tube. In and out of bed. I told our telemetry cna to let me know right away if it showed his leads were off because first he would take off his heart monitor and then get out of bed. The bad thing that is he just had surgery and couldn't stand well.

So about the 299 time I went running to his room, (why are they always so far from the desk), he looked up startled, holding his disconnected monitor in his hand and he goes. OK, I am so busted, and he put his hand in the air, I burst out laughing. He was so cute with a real sense of humor. I asked him why he kept taking it off, just trying to stay busy he says laughing, and I'm keeping you busy too huh. Oh Yeah. But in a nice way. Thanks to a bed alarm and the fact I can still run we made it through our 12.5 hours without him landing on his noggin.

We get these very elderly people in that live alone. When they get here we see all this behavior that really sets the alarm bells going off. They seem fairly good during the day, but at night the confusion gets worse and worse. We have learned you can't really do idle chit chat and see how they are really doing. You have to ask questions to assess their cognitive functioning. What year is it. What holiday just passed. Do you know the president. Which is your comb and which is your brush.

Some mild confusion is fairly normal taking people out of their normal routine. In a normal routine even someone who has slight confusion can be perfectly fine. The trouble is with the ones that it isn't safe to return them home alone. Sometimes the family lives far away and don't realize their family member is forgetful. They get skilled at evading questions and family keeps the questions and talk light, maybe each unconsciously hiding from the truth. They aren't confused they will say. She is fine every time I talk to her. Ask her some hard questions I gently say. Ask her what year you were born, who the president is, the steps needed to boil water. It is sad when they slowly realize the person doesn't know.

That doesn't automatically mean a nursing home. Sometimes it is just medications that need to be adjusted, sometimes lab work will be wacky making the mind do funny things. But many times it is the beginning of when role reversals take place.

Anyway, where is all this going. My sweet patient. Living alone. And in danger of hurting himself accidentally. And today trying to get the family to ask the right questions. Because nursing isn't just about dressing your wound or giving you a pill. It is and should be the whole picture. Making sure you have whats best for you..... the patient.

Feeling Unappreciated?

Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These . . .

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 AM Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper , entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.


Still Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Are Ya OK Now? - No?

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!

There now, Feeling Better?

Work Comp.....don't ya just love em.

I called the doc's today to tell them about my arm suddenly getting worse. Gee, I forgot it was work comp for a minute. Take 2 tylenol, go to your PT appointment and see ya in 6 weeks. Ummm..... right. Thanks for your concern that I all of a sudden can't lift my arm ........

So anyway. Got to feel sorry for those people that have to deal with work comp injuries all day. I mean dealing with all us dead beats who don't want to work and earn a honest living.....



They basically told me they can't see how my shoulder could have gotten so much worse unless I was doing something I wasn't suppose to be doing. So what would that be? Breathing? Since I hadn't been doing any of the 3 things you told me not to do, but all the rest of the 987 things I have to do in my job. Gee thanks for the vote of confidence in my being an honest person.



So obviously they don't really want to know if your shoulder got worse after the shot. That's like our government asking us if we want to increase our taxes. They don't really want the truth from us either. So I will hang in there. After all I have been messing with this for over 3 months already. Lost in the work comp shuffle. Destined to end up with permanent damage to my shoulder because they hope I will just learn to live with only using one arm.



"Hey, one of the machines I asked you to fix ran over my leg and cut it off". "What should I do"? Work comp doc, " well don't use that leg and call me in 6 weeks if it isn't better". Oh and make sure you clean up the spill using Osha approved supplies. Don't call in sick or anything though because I am sure we can find some job for you. We need a door stop in the front office.


I didn't really want anything out of them anyway. Just thought it might be important that my pain has tripled and I couldn't use my arm. But I forgot..... they don't want me to use it anyway. My problem is I didn't realize they meant forever.

Work went well but my shoulder still complained

True to their word my employer had someone to help me lift and I had patients that I could handle. A couple of surgicals and a heart failure that didn't need lifting. However...

Yesterday I woke up and my arm was really sore. As the day wore on it was getting worse and worse and today I can't lift it more then half way. The pain is worse then it ever has been. I didn't do any lifting. I have a fear it has ripped more. So here I sit, waiting for my doc's office to open. I have been up since 7:30 am yesterday so I am pretty darn tired but the work comp lady thinks I should tell them. Maybe it has something to do with the shot.

I hope when I talk to his nurse she can just relay the info and call me back later in the afternoon after I have slept. This is the start of my long stretch. I am charge all weekend and can not call in. But I guess I will do what I have to do.

The sky was so beautiful today. The sun was shining brightly as it came up and there were a million sparkling snow flakes floating in the air. Like diamonds from God. I love watching the sun come up.

Well, I guess I'll call and see if they open now or at 9. Night all.

Crazy New proposals.

Every day listening to the news give me reason to shake my head. Just a couple of things I heard today.

Our wonderful new government's energy czar wants to put monitors in our homes. They would connect to our electricity and tell us when we were using the most electricity and wasting it. First they would put them in your home, to help you figure out to turn out your lights when your not in the room,( like your not smart enough to figure that out yourself), next they will start fining you for using too much electricity during peek hours. And if you use it too long. And if your not using the new light bulb.

Of course they will have to hire all these electricians to put these into our houses. And all the wiring. And who is going to pay for all this?

Another bright idea. Pilots are going to fly over our homes and using heat sensors monitor which homes are wasting energy. And fine you.

And black cars, got to get rid of your black cars. They get hotter inside. Makes you use more air conditioning. Naughty little carbon credit wasters you. Of course all the government cars are black so will need to buy a new fleet of bullet proof SUV's.

Doesn't this all scare you? Isn't this just way to much government interference. It creeps me out.

And also. All over the country they have been having Tea parties. They have been huge successes. Thousands of people have signed petitions complaining about the increase in taxes, government interference, excessive spending of money we don't have, cut backs, you name it. Have you heard anything about it from the mainstream media. The media who due to their bias and ridiculous promotion of this party should be held in as much blame as anyone else for the mess we are in.

This media who is bought and paid for by the left wing party. They are the ones who should be getting petitions of complaint also. What kind of news is that when half of it isn't reported on. No wonder they all sound like they are reading off the same teleprompter. One place is releasing the approved news and all the sheep are reporting it.

Making enemies out of people who are successful. Making them the bad guys. Creating class envy. Pitting people against people. Since when was it wrong to be the best that you can be. Be successful. Support yourself. Pay for what you own. What crime is that? You know, the government has taking way more of your money then any of these AIG exec's ever took from you. That was outrageous, so is what the government is doing.

I also predict now the Hollywood actors and actresses will start to sing a different tune. Now they are thinking these people need a cap on their salaries along with pro ball players. When the government starts messing around with their pocketbooks will they still be singing their songs. We shall see.

And do you really want the government to swoop in and take over your bank? Oh gee, they did such a great job with our social security.

Last but not least. Another book I recommend. Liberty and Tyranny by Mark Levin. Must read. A great book.

Well my rant for now is done until I read or hear something else so stupid. I went to my new doc. Really nice and I do understand he can't subscribe meds if he has never seen me. It was 10 dollars less to see this doc, good news. Oh.... and its snowing. Not sticking but snowing.

Work tonight. I am taking the celebrex. Haven't noticed any difference. My shoulder is actually hurting more again. It feels like it did before the shot. Darn.

Plus you just have to read Hassan's new post in the Digital Publius It is just brilliant as usual.

It's the little things....

That tick me off. Like going to see if my watch was finally done. 7 months ago I decided to bring my watch in to get a new crystal put in. My old one got scratched. This watch was a gift from my job for being there 25 years. It was a gold Seiko with the date in it. Nice looking. I have been checking every month and the crystal keeps breaking he says. So yesterday I go in there and it turns out he lost it! What. Well not really lost it he says, just mislaid it. Could I tell him exactly what it looks like? After 7 months, not exactly. It was an expensive watch. A few hundred dollars worth. Give me a couple of days he says. Ok, then what? They had better make it right.

Then I call my new doc's office to get my sleeping pills refilled. You have to see him I am told. What! Make a doctor appointment and spend $25.oo to get my med refilled! This is nuts. I had asked them if there was going to be any problem getting our meds and things changed to their office. None at all we were told. So today I get to go do a expensive meet and greet with our new doc. If he won't give me the sleeping pills I will be ticked. What in the world is wrong with wanting to sleep well.

Then I hear from my insurance company. Seems my asthma doc isn't going to be covered anymore. Great. Now what. What if my lungs get bad from my years of smoking? That group is the only lungs docs in this stupid city. So I also have to see my new doc and let him know he will have to be responsible for my asthma meds. Because I have been a good girl since my near death experience. I am taking my meds every day. And...... I got a hat.