Dear God: Here is
a list of
just some of the things I must
remember
to be a good Dog:
1.
I will not eat the cat's food before she eats it or after she
throws it up.
2. I will not roll
on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc.,
just because I like the way they
smell.
3.
The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4.
The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5.
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6.
I will not play tug-of-war with
Dad's
underwear when he's on the
toilet.
7.
Sticking my nose into someone's
crotch
is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8.
I don't need to suddenly stand
straight
up when I'm under the coffee table.
9.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur
before
entering the house - not
after.
10.
I will not come in from outside,
and
immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11.
I will not sit in the middle of the
living
room, and lick my
crotch.
12.
The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
so when
I play with him and he makes that
noise,
it's usually not a good
thing.
P.S. Dear
God:
When I get to
Heaven,
May I have my testicles
back?