History lesson

Sweet and Clean

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, 'I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too.'.

________________________________
As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.'

___________________________ _____
Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.' Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway.' ________________________________

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed.
'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.' With that, the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you!

________________________________
My wife left the car unattended for only a minute, but it was long enough for our two-year-old to climb in, throw the car into reverse and crash into a lamppost. He was fine, but the car wasn't.
I had a hard time explaining who was behind the wheel to the insurance company. After a pause, the adjuster asked, 'Do you let him drive often?' ________________________________

One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered for story time. The book they were reading was There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly. After the librarian finished the first page, she asked the children, 'Do you think she'll die?' 'Nope,' a little girl in the back said. 'I saw this last night on Fear Factor.' __________________________________

My sister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. My ten-year-old niece answered the phone 'Hello,' she whispered.
'Hi, honey. How's your mother?' I asked. 'She's sleeping,' she answered, again in a whisper.
'Did she go to the doctor?' I asked. ' Yes. She got some medicine,' my niece said softly.
'Well, don't wake her up. Just tell her I called. What are you doing, by the way?' Again in a soft whisper, she answered, 'Practicing my trumpet.' ____________________________________

On a brutally humid day, I walked past a miniature golf course and saw a dad following three small children from hole to hole. 'Who's winning?' I shouted.
'I am,' said one kid.
'Me,' said another.
'No, me,' yelled the third.
Sweat dripping down his face, the dad gasped, 'Their mother is.' _____________________________________

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. 'Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?' he asked innocently.
After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust. 'You don't have to make something up Dad. It's ok if you don't know the answer."

Work, what fun

Well I went to urgent care today as my shoulder is still pretty sore. I possibly have a rotator cuff tear. So I am on celebrex and will be starting physical therapy for it to see if it improves. I am suppose to be on a 5 pound lifting restriction with this left arm so it should be interesting a work. But it worked for the knee when I hurt it so we shall see.

We are slowly taking down the tree finally. It takes as long to get it down as it does to put it up. The room looks so bare. I love the house decorated for Christmas.

New tax today I have heard about. They are now talking about a wheel tax and head tax. What the heck are those? Next they will be taxing you on heart beats.

Well, my posts are short but my wrist is really on the blink. I will be happy to have the surgery and get this latest ouch over with. I have to be charge at work today so maybe I can get by without lifting much.

Diesel Fitter

Sven and Olaf worked together in a Minnesota

factory....and both were laid off. So...dey went

to the Unemployment Office together.

Asked his occupation, Olaf said, 'Panty stitcher.

I sew da elastic onto da ladies cotton panties.'

The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it

classified as unskilled labor, she gave Olaf $300

a week in unemployment compensation.

Sven, when asked his occupation replied,

'Diesel fitter.' The clerk looked up diesel fitter...

and it was classified as a skilled job. So, the clerk

gave Sven $600 a week in unemployment compensation.

When Olaf found this out, he was furious! He

stormed back into the office to find out why

his friend and co-worker was collecting double

his benefits.

The clerk explained, 'Panty stitchers are

unskilled labor and diesel fitters are skilled labor.'

'Vat skill?' yelled Olaf. 'I sew da elastic on da

panties. Olaf puts dem over his head and says,

'Yah...... DIESEL FITTER.'

Days off Rock

I am thankful I have a job and thankful it pays well but extremely thankful that I have the day off. I hurt my shoulder last night trying to get this heavy patient up. He was like dead weight. Once we got him standing it was better but getting him to a sitting position and then standing was very hard. 2 of us got hurt. I just slathered biofreeze on my shoulder and took some tylenol and if it isn't better will go to urgent care. Its my bad arm also. Sigh.

My son was over yesterday and is so upset. His cable went down like 3 days ago. He didn't know why so called them. Turns out they shut it off because his roommate was illegally downloading movies and I don't know if he was selling them or just giving them away. Dan didn't know anything about it as they work opposite shifts and rarely see each other. Dan is really into gaming and now he can't get internet. I told him to go down there and see what he can do to straighten it out. When he called his roommate on it the roommate just stormed out. So Dan is worried he will be arrested. Thing is they should be able to tell what computer was used to download the movies. It hasn't been going well with his roommate. He doesn't pay rent half the time and leaves dirty clothes all over but never does dishes. He cooks for his girlfriend but doesn't clean up. So Dan is going to have to ask him to leave.

Well, I am going to try and sleep. I have a hair appointment and if I don't feel better have to go to urgent care. Take care all. I am slow getting to everyone blogs on my long stretch but I'll be around.

You think

I don't know about your area, but here the mortgage rates are really falling. I am thinking about refinancing my home even. But my question. The value of homes have dramatically dropped in this new market when the bottom fell out. So, shouldn't we be able to have the tax assessor come out and give us a new tax assessment with our new lower valued houses thus lowering our taxes? Why continue to pay the same taxes for a house they say have decreased in value?

I am writing our city tax assessor with this same question. Should be interesting to get the reply. I can almost guarantee they won't readjust my taxes. My sister lives in Hawaii. She paid $450,000 for her home at the height of the grossly inflated housing scam, it dropped shortly after. I doubt she could sell it for half that now. Will they reduce her taxes? Bet not.

Think of all the things that went way up when gas got so expensive. Groceries, postal rates, clothing, transportation, just everything you can think of. Has any of it dropped now that gas is cheaper? No.

I have been getting some great emails about how we are all getting taxed to death. Thing is people complain and moan about it all the time but we just put up with it. I have a printed out list of everyone of my Iowa representatives by my computer so I can email and write them and voice my concerns over their blindly taxing us to pay for their over inflated lifestyles, do you know they gave themselves a raise again. Do you ever even hear about this crap until after the fact? I want to know before they do it what they are thinking about and loudly voice my protests before it gets written into law. We are all to quiet about letting them tax us into the poor house. Why is that? They are suppose to be their for us, not legal pickpockets which they all have turned into.

So. You must all think I am just the angriest person. Truth is I am not. I am just tired of all this and think if I am going to complain I have to complain to the right people. And at work they all think I am pretty even tempered which I am. But when something is wrong, its wrong. And I think wrongs should be righted. Right. So write your congressmen and senators because even though it is not a election year the voice of the people has swayed them before. If we sit here and say nothing, well, you might as well just forward your check to Washington.

Bye all, time to go to work so some fat cat can make his jet payment. Peace and love.

Friday already

The older I get the more amazed and distressed, LOL, I am about how time just seems to have sped up to warp speed. I remember long lazy days of my childhood and hours out in the sun for fun. Now I sleep though the most of it or work. I guess I am grateful just to be alive to enjoy the short time I have right!

Back to work, its the same old fun filled nights, and otherwise not much going on. My wrist feels broken and is swollen quite a bit so I am forced to wear my brace 24/7 now. Its a serious pain at work, having to shove gloves on over it and removing it a million times a night to wash my hands. But....not wearing it is no longer an option, at least this week it seems. Maybe too much photo shoots.

I have been asked to take the photo's at a friends wedding and to take family photo's for another friend. Well, I am OK with the family photo's but not to sure about the wedding pictures. That is their big day and I am no professional. I told her no but she said to think about it as I have 8 months. I will practice and practice and give it some thought.

I have decided to do a new tax watch week. The new tax laws are being proposed right and left. Send me any new ones you hear about. The new ones since yesterday, the federal government is proposing a 10 cent gas tax increase! Now I told you Oregon is proposing a driving tax because they are making so little on the gas tax since people have cut down on their driving. Will they then still put the gas tax into effect? You bet ya. So thats new taxes on driving and then new taxing because your not driving enough. That way they get both sides. Makes my bike look more and more attractive but I have a feeling they way come up with some way to tax that. Maybe I should add that to my list of predictions for the year.

Anyway, have you all heard of any that I have missed. Working and sleeping so much on my long week I miss a lot of news. Maybe that is good. I am so tempted to just turn off the world and live in ignorant bliss for awhile. Enjoy my money thinking it is mine, LOL. Not that I have much.

27 days until D-Day
Things are going to start getting busy this month as my surgery gets closer. I have pre-0p visits, have to see my asthma doctor and make sure I won't die on the table, have to get all the short term disability papers and FMLA papers filed and get my hair done, must look good and remember, I will down to one arm for a few weeks. Last time I couldn't even close my fist. And I have to clean my house top to bottom.

Something about not being able to clean my house always brings out the housewife in me. I hate being laid up in a messy house. Must be clean and Rick just isn't Mr Housewife. Besides selective hearing he has selective vision and always thinks the house looks just dandy as long as the dishes are done. Sigh. I should have married a neat freak but I guess I'll keep him.

Well, this is taking for ever with one hand. Time to call it a day. Take care all and enjoy the weekend. Send me those new tax increase news.